Leaving Maverick

Maverick fired me this past Monday, February 12. Previously, I had banged up two tarp boxes, one on either side, and bent a crossbeam at the rear of the tractor. This accumulation of accidents caused Maverick to put me on probation, and the final straw was getting a speeding ticket on Saturday the 10th. Their liability exposure would be too great with a driver with a record like mine if I got in an accident where someone was injured. I reluctantly agree that I have not been a safe enough driver. No one was injured, and I certainly haven’t done anything, even cumulatively, that other drivers haven’t done. However, this is my first six months driving and Maverick is relatively strict in their procedures, so out I go.

I definitely feel ambivalent about not driving a truck right now. It is hard, dangerous work that calls for extraordinary endurance. I am proud to have done as well as I did, and to have taken on such difficult work in order to support us. No delivery of mine was ever damaged or late. I drove over 50,000 miles in six months working for Maverick. That averages out to just over 2,000 miles per week for the 24 weeks I actually drove. The average workday was between 14 and 16 hours. Usually, something like 3 hours loading, securing and tarping, 3 hours waiting to be unloaded, assigned a new load and to be loaded, and 8-10 hours driving. The other 8-10 hours I ate, slept, and, every other day, showered. Sometimes the eating and sleeping might happen during the waiting hours. Most often, I ate breakfast and lunch while driving.

I decided to try for truck driving when I couldn’t find a job in training and development. I now feel capable of finding work either in that field or doing any number of other things where I get to see Ann (& the dogs) every day, and sleep, eat and shower at home. There’re a vast number of occupations between T & OD and driving a truck, so I’m going to look around for a few weeks and see what I can find.

Here’s the biggest lesson I’m taking away, at least as I understand it now: When looking for work, either for my business or for a job, I felt a lot of fear that people would not respect and/or like me. When driving a truck, I felt a lot of fear that I would have an accident and be fired or killed.

I spent a lot of time thinking while driving about how I ended up behind the wheel of a big truck, what with the variety of education and experience that I have. The fear that inhibited me while looking for work was based on my long held belief that I’m not good enough. I recognize now that that feeling is not generally relevant, useful or well-grounded. The resulting fears pale in comparison to the spiking feeling through my heart as a curve at the bottom of a hill approaches too rapidly while I am attempting to control 78,000 lbs. of truck and cargo.

The perceptions others have of me was something I came to largely disregard when I started driving a truck. I’ve a lot of work to do still on that, but no longer feel disabled by my fears of what I imagine others perceive me to be. I intend to live in Durham and earn a livable wage in a job that avoids the more egregious forms of selling. I like much of the field of training and development and am looking there first, and am open to lots of other ways of making a living too. Your help and consideration are appreciated.